It's easy when kids are young. As they get older, however, they like what they like and dislike what they dislike. They are not necessarily going to be keen on participating in everything or anything. And just because one clicks with a mom doesn't automatically mean the kids are going to get along.

Advice to moms...Keep on reaching out to families. You are bound to find a family that clicks with yours and then your kids' social needs box will be adequately ticked (for years to come).

Establishing a home education support community:

Step 1: Make contact with other local home educated families.

Step 2: Follow an interest led, values based way to slowly connect with & build meaningful friendships.

Children choosing to home educate in South Africa are typically already part of a community.

Each child is already part of their local community & the chances are that there already home educated families in those circles.

The best kinds of quality relationships are often established spontaneously through common interests & hobbies.

Information on support groups can be found at https://www.sahomeschoolers.org/support-topmenu/support-groups.html

• These groups share quite a lot of information on home education related interest led clubs & other activities that are easy to join.
• There are also groups for sharing second hand resources for home education.
• This is a great way to make contact with other families & be invited to small closed WhatsApp groups - often it just takes making friends with one other home educated family to 'open up' the hidden social world of home educated families.

(However since the BELA-ACT, home educated families have to some degree avoided having a high visibility on social media so don't become too despondent).

Start searching in your Local Community:

Church :

• Reach out to the admin of your local church/children's ministry to inquire if there are others in your area.
• children from churches & other religious communities families often share the same values & may ailready know each other.

(In SA there are a large number of closely knit Muslim learners that home educate their children)

Scouts : A number of home educated families in SA share some of the values of the Scouting community since children in South Africa live in close proximity to nature where there is an abundance of opportunities for nature based adventures. It is much safer & a whole lot more fun tackling these activities as a group. Phone your local Scouts troupe & fine out if they have any home educated learners. (The Scouting Community also allow children to visit a couple of times before making a commitment).

Local Schools : Ask the local school in your areas whether they offer extra-mural sport that home educated learners can join

Service Providers : Some of the service providers have their own closed groups on Facebook & WhatsApp.

• Some service providers even arrange local termly meet-up events for families following a similar approach.
• Many of the service providers try to group families into smaller located groups that are geographically organised. This creates an opportunity for learners to meet & arrange their own gatherings outside of formally organised events.

Parents can start their own interest-led groups:

• Small learning co-ops that meet once a week/ month. Classic Conversations runs small co-ops in various areas.
• Parents can take their own initiative arrange outings for their own children & share an open invite via small WhatApp groups, these outings can be adjusted to accommodate the next needs of and make activity accessible & safe for the local home education community:

For example:

• Meeting at a local park to play soccer.
• invite others to join for an hour at a public swimming pool.
• set up a volleyball net at a local church venue
• have seasonal quick crafts session where you prepare an activity & ask others to bring their own materials along.
• prepared poetry presentation
• take traditional board games to indoor venues - some libraries even have a selection of games.
• invite a few families to go camping
• plan paid for interest activities for older children like meeting up at a bowling alley - invite others to join on Facebook and only share the details in a closed WhatsApp group.

BE PATIENT:

• Have patience with other home educated families since these parents are already doing as much to accommodate the needs of their own families while often juggling chores at home & even work responsibilities.
• make the effort that fits in with your own families schedule - take initiative to invite a family over for an hour lunch.
• Don't overload your
  • children's afternoon
  • activities as this can
  • reduce the amount of
  • time & capacity you
  • have for social
  • activities - be practical & realistic.
• Respect fact that other families may have different social needs to your own children - many home educated families are content living a quiet self-paced lifestyle. Practice being peaceful and content at home. Being bored and lonely can be positive motivators that open children up to creative ways & possibilities of forming social connections to the world around them - so sometimes stepping back as parents is helpful - this allows space for the child to grow through these challenges.
• Keep trying - keep on prioritizing outdoor & social activities your family love & place the connection you have between each other as the most important relationship.
• Seek help from a health-care professional if you are concerned that your child is too withdrawn or notice any other signs that indicate they are having a mental health crisis.

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